Hello fundraiser friends, my name is Monique. I am asking for your financial support with my ongoing battle with Rheumatoid / Osteoarthritis and the expenses related to a total hip replacement, which I desperately need.
First for those who don’t know, Rheumatoid Arthritis is an autoimmune disorder. It’s a chronic inflammatory disorder where the immune system attacks the tissue and joints causing painful swelling. Unlike Osteoarthritis, It can affect any age group including children. Osteoarthritis occurs, usually with age, from the wearing down of flexible tissue and cartilage. After years of flare ups and the long term use of Methotrexate (immune suppressing drug), I now have this disease as well. My joints and bones are deteriorating. I need my hip and knees replaced asap.
My first flare up happened in 2018, when I was 41. My right knee blew up and I thought I had torn my meniscus running, until the left knee followed suit. As it progressed it ping ponged from joint to joint, primarily from my waist down, before settling in my knees and hips. The past seven years I have been battling (and accepting) Rheumatoid, and it has taken a toll on me in every aspect of my life; physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and financially.
Physically, I went from an active athletic woman to being forced into submission by my flare ups. I now have a much more sedentary life; depending on some form of crutches, mobility scooters for big events, or, at my worst, my boyfriend (Mark- best dude ever!) assisting or carrying me. I easily become exhausted and fatigued. My energy levels come and go along with the flare ups. I miss so many activities I used to love, so many. Doing basic tasks like getting in or out of my car and chores like laundry or dishes is daunting to say the least. I am mindful of when I need to rest, and often I am forced into time out from everything. One of my flare ups, or the continuation of them, forced me so far out of alignment my pelvis is tilted three different ways, my legs are drastically different lengths, I have deterioration in L2-5, 14 degree scoliosis and my right knee won’t straighten all the way. I think it goes without saying I am constantly in pain, like all day every day. Getting out of bed is a struggle, getting dressed, moving, standing for more than a few minutes, sleep eludes me often, and even sitting too long can be painful. I’ve always been tough, but R.A. has made me see how truly tough I am. It has been a humbling experience. I’ve endured a lot of trauma, but this is by far the worst. Also, it is because of that trauma I most likely developed R.A., along with another handful of theories.
Mentally and emotionally, I used to use running, kayaking, and yoga for outlets to clear my mind from rapid ADHD thoughts, cope with life, and ward off mental health conditions. Now, I use Hotworks just to try to keep moving in any way possible. I don’t get the same workout high I used to, but it eases my pain.. Brain Fog can roll in sometimes although it can be abated by diet (high protein/fat, gluten free, reduced sugar, whole foods, avoiding chemicals and overly processed garbage, etc). Depression is often lingering, but I do my best to keep it at bay with other healthy outlets like friends, fur babies, art, and eating well. In addition to my mental health conditions prior to R.A., I now am self conscious of my misalignment bordering on the side of Body Dysmorphia Disorder. This is not to mention being, 48, perimenopausal and how it affects many of the above listed too.
Socially, I have retreated. I am selective about my activities and the people I share my limited energy with. Obviously, running around on crutches is not ideal for the lifestyle I would prefer. I loathe being asked by strangers “What did you do to yourself”?, “Hurt your knee”?.. Depending on my mood, I may explain my condition or look at them sideways and tell them it’s permanent. I don’t care as much about social media as I used to. Sharing constantly requires too much energy and I am not looking for validation. I keep it only to keep in touch with distant friends and on occasion share things I am blessed with like becoming a grandmother or the awesomeness Mark brings to my life.
Financially, the R.A. has taken a toll on me. I was in the restaurant / bar industry for over 30yrs. Continued flare ups, my declining ability to walk, and trying to remain in a positive mood while fighting varying pain levels was the end to that career. In 2020, I went back to finish my Art Education degree at University of North Texas, but without adequate income I couldn’t afford to finish my last 2 semesters. I was a substitute teacher but, as we all know, that is not a livable wage. In November, Mark helped me, as he does with so many things, get a new car so I could start Uber driving. It has been a reasonable alternative to other career options. It has given me decent income, a bit of purpose, and a means to still be of service. I make my own schedule depending on how I feel, my boss is a computer, and I can kick guests out if they are a problem (lol). Over the years, I accumulated a small amount of debt when I was unable to work and that is what I have been focusing on eliminating for the last several months.
In addition, I’d like to mention health insurance or lack of in the USA and medications. At the beginning, I had great insurance through my employer at the time of my diagnosis. Moving forward, however, many places don’t provide health insurance in the service industry. So, I have been paying out of pocket for everything or prolonging getting medical needs done, like an MRI and seeing an orthopedic specialist, because of the expenses. Also, many insurance companies have a waiting period or don’t accept people with pre-existing conditions. Most of the expenses have been affordable, but surgery in the states has been out of my reach. The medications prescribed by my rheumatologist were within my means but recently I have stopped taking them all because I felt they were doing more harm than good. I am opting to go as holistic as I can, but I will still need surgeries to replace the joints. I know I will not be able to have the quality of life and mobility I wish until I have these surgeries done. Shout out to my chiropractors for their continued support, healing, and pain relief. I go once a week at $80 a visit. My massage therapist is a God sent. Although they are both temporary fixes, they do provide some relief.
I am praying to take a journey to Nordorthopaedics in Kaunas, Lithuania. They have amazing reviews and group chats for inquiries on social media. Here in the states it is roughly $50k plus with insurance. In the E.U. it is roughly 10K. So, I’m setting my goal for 13K to cover the cost of surgery, expenses and flights ($1000×2). I did not factor in lost wages from downtime. It is a 10 day stay, 2-3 days in hospital, new parts (lol), and a week long stay in a rehabilitation center where you work with physical therapists while you recover. Far better than the experience here in the states where they send you home the same day, and you might see a physical therapist. After the 10 days, there are telemed follow ups. It generally takes 4-6 months to get in, so that is my goal to raise the funds with your help. My other goal is walking without some form of assistance before my grandson starts walking, so by next June.
I am asking for a simple donation of $5-10 dollars (x my 1400 fb friends would cover it), but anything is appreciated. If you have taken the time to read all of this, thank you! I am so grateful for all of the amazing empathetic and supportive people I have in my life. They are always looking out for me, especially Mark. I am blessed to have him. I am grateful for all the strangers that send prayers of healing. I am grateful for all of the parts of me that still hold me up every day, even when I don’t feel like being up right. Thank God for muscle memory and everything else!
Thank you again for your time and support. Mo~
