Hey everyone,
I spent about 15 years being incredibly private about being a trans person, mostly because transitioning as an adolescent in a world that was hostile towards trans people made opening up feel unsafe. In fact, there might be people reading this who don’t know I’m trans. Surprise! One of the things I’m most grateful for is the shift in my life that’s happened in the last few years as I’ve leaned more into community with other trans people. We need each other, and I don’t know how I went so long without realizing that. Finding my people has changed my life so positively, and it’s allowed me to learn to open up more about my experience as a trans person with the cis people in my life, too.
Only a few of you know that I’ve had a long and complicated surgical journey, which is something I haven’t talked about too much, or at all, with most people in my life. Going through many difficult and painful recoveries far away from home without a lot of support has been isolating and has made an already hard thing even harder. So, I want to try something new here–and something difficult for me–and be more open about what I’m going through and ask for help.
In February 2026 I’ll be having the most complicated surgery I’ve had, with the most intense recovery. I’m so glad I have access to this surgery, with a skilled team of surgeons in the Bay Area that I trust and have worked with before, and I also know how hard it’s going to be. Because of what I’ve learned about the importance of support and community, I’ve decided to stay at Quest House, which is a nonprofit recovery house run by other trans men who’ve been through similar surgeries. It’s a safe, understanding place to heal and get the support I need, thoughtfully set up to make this recovery go as smoothly as possible.
With everything going on right now—especially with how trans people are under attack—it can feel like cis folks don’t always know how to help. So, here’s a way you can: I’m raising funds to cover the cost of staying at Quest House, which isn’t covered by insurance but is essential for my healing. I’m also fundraising to help with other out-of-pocket expenses—like travel, food, and medical supplies—that add up quickly during a long recovery.
If you’re able to contribute financially, it would mean the world to me. If not, sharing this with others or sending a message of encouragement is also deeply appreciated. I’ve spent a long time trying to handle everything on my own, and I’m learning that I don’t have to do it that way anymore. Thank you for being part of that shift.
With gratitude and love,
Dylan
